"Brother Cyril wore white at home, too. White safari suits and white dashikis that did not tolerate stains, and which his wife had to boil in a huge pot of water before washing to ensure that the whiteness glowed in holiness."
Thank God for my ultimate deliverance from religion, Kai, to think that I was worse than Cyril from 5 years ago is making me laugh. Ha. Holiness that almost killed me if Jesus hadn't come to my rescue! Mba, it is Satan that started it, but what he intended for bad, God turned for good!
Lemme tell you small story, those days I was holier than my entire family (so you can imagine what my siblings and mother went through in my holiness hands. 😂 😂, neighbors weren't spared, same as classmates, colleagues and everyone in my then world) mehn, I was an Evangelist with fire the shape of a cloven tongue ascending from my head to God on high. And I took most of the morning devotion sermon in school, they suffered in my hands sha. 😂 Before my former account was locked by Zuckerberg, a post of mine from 2012 had popped up on the normal on this day posts, and I've deleted it with the speed of light, hissing loudly and shouting "what rubbish" but it was my Rhema. This Chines today cannot even begin to deal with that Evangelist of armor shining righteousness and holiness ihotago?
I use to plug earpiece in my ears and scream down the entire street singing to Nigerian gospel, disturbing especially my next door neighbor, a Muslim woman and her loving husband, I cared less, will she ever know the way of za lord? No! And anybody who dares says lower ya voice is the devil. And you know what we do to the devil right? Cast them out... With more shouts! (Kai, I forgive myself) 😂. I will not talk about my evangelism because I still do them, but then it was with that holy repent and die attitude. I get your time? I'm here for ya soul.
Women on trousers, get lost! Women on lipstick, get lost! One time I told one girl on skinnys and a long top, "if the trumpet should sound now, do you know you're going to hell?" Auntie didn't listen to my hot word of God again, she said I've condemned her. Did I blame her? When Satan is taking you to hell, won't he first block your ears? 😂 what's more important, the Salvation I'm bringing to her or tone of my voice? Unserious sinners. Heh faya candidate. (Loving black sister, forgive me, I don't know what I was doing)
Even people who taught me computer weren't spared. Jeez, I looked at myself now and ask me what gave me that guts to challenge people in their own offices. I'll turn off the television once they are showing anything that's 'worldly' forget that I'm the youngest of everybody in the office. My signature "You will go to hell fire" closer to my lips. And well, I think they've got reverence for the sinless man of God with no guile and respected themselves. 😂 (Forgive me all of you people, me sef, I don't know how to ask for this forgiveness)
So that day, I was on facebook and had stumbled on a hotter message from an Oyibo preacher, I think that man wee go to heh. It was captioned "It is better to go to hell from the world than from the front pew of the church" I'll later discover that the voice of condemnation is the voice of the devil but then I didn't know, everything that has church, hell, heaven, God, Jesus, Angels, Demons, everything. Na Word of God! Lemme go back to my story biko.
I didn't know why that message got me thinking sha, it wasn't that there was any bad thing I was doing, but I began to think of judgment day, (talmabout reviewing what you've been told. It will be the first time I'm questioning anything) that time, Nathaniel Bassey's Is Your Name in the book of life was in rage, and that song didn't help matters, especially "little foxes and secret faults springs surprises on the final day" Condemnation preachers can keep up with their business as long as the word of God is preached to others through them and never given deeper thoughts apart from heaven is real and hell is real.
So I told you fa that there was nothing bad I was doing that I could point at and call myself hypocritical, but I thought about that line. I've often preached that every kind of sin will not be spared and if a tiny drop of sin is found in your life, you're doomed for eternity. That day, I though about that. The what if began pouring. What if on the last day God brings out something that I don't even know about?
You See, that period the sacrifices was topnotch, I didn't have a girlfriend, didn't have any ally apart from Chidera, Emmanuel and my Mentor, and inside my heart I was holier than the first two (Forgive me o, but my holiness was brazing.) My goodness, I was a qualified psychiatric patient, religion wanted to strangle me. 😂. I didn't even listen to Omawumi's If you ask me, because it was worldly. I shunned every appearance of evil, whether or not they manifested themselves in my brothers sometimes, like my Elder brother who was a candidate of hell fire. (Forgive me Nnorr, I repent in ash and sack cloth 😂) Yeah I shunned my brother, my righteous robe must not be spoilt! No stain allowed. And I knew I was suffering. Yes, I knew. But I couldn't voice it out, Man of God no dey appear weak. I fasted until my cheek bones were visible and my hand could feel my spinal chord from my stomach, I could count my ribs. All these was for a space in heaven. I believed my suffering was for the earth in heaven, enjoyment will be much, I'll forget all the suffering I've gone through here. And it will make up for my earth's sufferings. I allowed my classmate to be deceiving themselves in earthly enjoyment (only that I reminded them always that they will go to hell) eternity will tell.
I want to live eternal life, God help.... No, it depended on me to work out my salvation. So that day, when it dawned on me that all my abstenance and suffering, and deprivation can go down the drain if God's oyoko-meter spots one unrighteousness in me and I'll go to hell, I was pained. It was the first time I stopped to think of God, "so he will forget everything I've done, everything. He will forget that my friend's were having girls to stupor and I'm serving him fiercely and repenting in ash and sack clothes if I as little as think that a girl is beautiful. Does my friends repent when they sin? Am I not the one preaching to them everyday? Didn't my class girl sit on my class boy's lap and kiss him in class and I've removed my eyes that they may not beheld iniquity and told them they will go to hell. Did they repent? No! Yet, God will send me to hell fire, the same hell fire these diehard sinners were going to for one spot of unrighteousness." Mehn I was enraged. We slam the Elder Brother of the prodigal son but until we walk in that Nigga's shoe, you may not know the source of his anger. A feeling of entitlement.
Yes, I was entitled to go to heaven. I've worked for it. And I'm still working for it (then), my sufferings, deprivation, fasting, morality (read Holier than thou) abstenance, preaching, all of that are my valid works, my right to heaven! I've paid my dues, this heaven was my reward and God must be wicked to send me to hell for finding any fault. Didn't I repent daily? Wasn't I confessing both sin I knew of and I didn't know? Which one is secret faults again?
I don't know why I was that angry sha, because God didn't appear to me and tell me he was sending me to hell for any reason. One preacher's post on facebook is making me come to God, bragging about my works, being entitled, and even concluding he is wicked for even thinking of sending someone like me a fighter, a holy brother to hell for any sin he may find.
The next day sha God came through for me 😂 1John 3:9 divinely landed on my understanding. Followed by Creflo Dollar, Pst Chris Oyakhilome and Joseph Prince. 😂
I'm remembering this because ever since, peace have returned 😂 those people who think me a darling human being will keep their distance if they met me way before now. And my beloved Peach will not be feeling Peace Perfect Peace in my presence but war, fight, until she is chiseled into the Mummy G. O of God! 😂 that's if she will agree to be chiseled. 😂 Cyril reminds me of who I use to be that I don't want to be anymore 😂 😂.
If you were holier, share it inbox o or in the comment session!
Now my kids will be telling others in the future how I am the best thing ever happened to them, will they know that their dad was a holy prophet of Yahweh without spot and wrinkle and what I'd thought of them was a life I can summarize as religious bondage.
Nna lemme goan continue reading my On Black Sisters Street abeg. 😂
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