Emotional pains does not only accompanies the death of a loved one, economic loss also happen especially if the deceased is the bread winner of the family or a major supporter to the family's economy. Hence it is not just the pains of the demise of the loved one, but the fact that that stream is closed.
Hours after the demise comes the inflow of ‘sympathizers’ to proffer condolence to the bereaved, this happens until the actual burial and even exceeds it as some religion or culture demands. The sympathizer and the community’s attitude towards the bereaved could it be described as compassion or wickedness?
A compassionate gesture towards a people in pain and mourning would be to offer gifts in words and kind but the family of the bereaved is made to ‘kola’ the sympathizers with bottles of schnapp, and cooked food for ‘light’ refreshment. Spending for the bereaved starts hours after they are plunged into the pains of losing a dear one to the cold hand of death.
Tradition mounts the thereafter pressure of buying certain materials and meeting certain demands before the burial of such a one happens, regardless of if the demise was the bread winner of the home and the home may not be able to provide any whatsoever as per for upkeep after the funeral is over. Outstanding bills from years back especially if the deceased wasn't present in traditional functions are meant to be paid before the corpse is laid to rest. Even amongst religious title, a person’s burial may not be attended if they had outstandings of tithes, or contribution, this is borne by the bereaved too.
Some religion who poses instant burial as being a part of the superiority of their religion in terms of compassion amongst the others demands a funeral rite of the third, eight and fortieth day which must be obliged.
Organizing Funerals are more expensive in some African nations than Child dedication and weddings. The celebration of life and the celebration of the joining together in love of a unit that will foresee the birth of new lives are not as expensive as saying goodbye. The cost of things done in merriment is nothing compared to that of pain, anguish and loss. This 2019, the current governor of Anambra state passed a bill limiting luxurious funerals in the state, kicked against by many residents as a kind of limiting the people’s desire to spend money as they deem during funerals, this bill comes handy I must say to many, whom in customs and tradition are ready to milk them of their hard earned.
“No small money burials” common slang amongst Nigerians. In Mariama Ba’s So long a letter, she did with great skills spell out how financial draining burial is for Senegalese. Do we call this sympathy for the bereaved?
Burial ceremony expenses begins immediately after the demise of the family member, with sympathizers offering both condolences and long list.
Do we call this sympathy? Are we really grieved by the demise of the family of the bereaved, does sympathy and compassion includes stripping them off what they have even as they suffer painful loss?
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