"I don't like cooking."
"I don't wear skirts."
"I don't wear traditional."
"I don't like washing."
👆 A lot of African men look at you like someone possessed by an evil spirit or overwhelmed with a bad addiction if you make statements like this (especially the first!). From that point, they start running away from you like you're a stigma to be avoided or something (the running part gives me joy sha 😂). If they have a certain liking for you, they'll be trying to make you like/love what you don't like so you can be more "marketable" or "wifeable". Funnily enough, even some guys that cannot boil water will be seeing you as society's greatest anomaly!
They forget that "I don't like doing so and so" may not necessarily be equal to "I can't do so and so." People do what they don't like as occasion demands. For instance: Exams. A lot of people don't like exams. Should we now say that they've never taken exams in their lives?
But what's actually wrong with not wanting to cook everyday of your life? Is that what God created the female humans for? Kitchen operations and management? How come we weren't born with pot on one hand and spoon on the other? How come the World's best chefs are men?
If you want to marry someone who has cooking as a hobby, do that. We're in Africa, you'd actually find a lot of girls who really love cooking and even those who have inspired, motivated and encouraged themselves into loving it. When you do, please kindly select one from there!
I think it's manipulative and controlling to see a woman who is "perfect in all other areas" and doesn't care much about that then you take it upon yourself to change her. Are you the Holy Spirit? Is disliking cooking a character flaw? I know and have heard of many guys that dread the kitchen because they're horrible in there. Some even cook well because they had to learn but can't wait to throw in the towel when their wife shows up. Have we killed them?
If we have not killed them, then, you shouldn't kill us too. That wouldn't be fair - Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. The wonderful thing is: That person that you're seeing as weird, non-traditional and "unmarriable" has someone somewhere dying for her! Even if she doesn't, she will be better off without someone trying to mould her into what she's not!
Dear ladies,
Be you and let people decide if that's what they want to roll with. Don't let in anyone who sees your preferences and choices as the world's greatest abominations! Don't be with someone who sees you as something that needs to be overhauled. The truth is, no matter how strange people think you are, there's always someone that would love and appreciate you. If you never find that person, you'd be happier living as you than as someone's vision of what you should be.
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