My oyibo wife.
"She doesn't love you, she is here to eat your money" Opara giggled when I announced I'll be getting married to Blaine Cain, from Texas. The uproar of laughter that ensued hurts deeply, but the sight of her face sends the pain away and fills me with ecstasy.
Chukwunonso says she won't make a good submissive wife, like our igbo women from Ehime Mbano, she will come and rub shoulder with you dragging equality, feeling like the man with you. Anybody ever told chukwunonso that the submission of our women disgust me? Not because I'm a rebel, but I know a submission borne out of ingenuity, a fight to keep her man, after all men are scarce in the market.
Ebube speaks calmly, to make it look like his gray hair has some lace of wisdom, "Nde oyibo and divorce, ihe ntakiri ubua, y'obapu" I forced a dry laugh, a laugh to ridicule the white hair 'professor' whose gray hair is a matter of biology. What's the Ihe ntakiri? The small things that will make her divorce me? They feel she will not be as enduring. To gather all their shit in a cone and lick with reckless abandon. The little thing ebube wants her to endure or envisage she won't be able to endure is the drink to stupor come home and beat your wife, and she greets you with cheers on the morrow, Nna anyi, isala Chi? It is the being caught red handed on the bed and cries to her mother like Nonso's wife does whenever she got beaten for trying to stand in the way of his promiscuity.
"That oyibo woman will make you do house chores, they are not strong, little now and they will break, you deserve a woman who is strong..." Anayo blurt. Yes strong, strong like his wife. Who farms in the morning, pounds yam at noon and receives pounding at night from his lazy ass that only knows how to play graph and knack!
My oyibo wife, the one my family laughs at, saying she speaks asrisrisri, I blame their illiteracy, had papa gone to school he would have appreciated the beauty of having an English scholar as a daughter in-law. Mama has began forming ally with her, even though achinko fuse about doing all the work alone without help. I wonder which help she is talking about, taking care of the compound had been her business since she turned thirteen.
My Blaine Cain, the reason why my kinsmen treats me as an outcast, saying I'm not man enough because she refuse changing her surname to mine, and because my children will be half caste and not nwa afor igbo. The more they hit me hard, the more in love I fall with my English damsel, the reason for all my excitement, the blessing of social media. The one I truly adore. I promise to not change her a bit, but to love, respect and adore her all life long, and I'm not going to break it.
Mazi mbakwe can keep running his mouth, because I refuse marrying Chizirim Nkemakolam his daughter, he can keep giving all the proverbs his ancestors passed down to him.
I and my oyibo wife is better together, till death do us part we'll stay!
It's me!
Chines Zoe!
Photo Credit: Unsplash
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