*Twist my fingers*
Turn on the mic.
🎤 🎤
When I grow up, I want to be a small girl with big god, like my sister ijeoma who is now the bread winner of our house even if Daddy is still alive.
I want to be praised like her, the way daddy and mummy cleans the house each time she calls to say she's going to branch makes me wants to inflate this pointed dots on my chest to the size of Ijeoma, and wear that thing she wears on her hips to make it large and curvy so that I can sway it from side to side with wreckless abandon in front of the tinted glass jeeps.
The praise papa showers on her makes me want to pursue this dream of mine, mama and her religiosity will not cease to wave her hand in gratitude to her chi, I want that sweet names too, Ije nwam, Jay Jay gbekee. And even though she says she is counting her blessings, I know, I know, the little I know, I will seal in my stomach.
Mama says Ijay is her miracle daughter, whose life is clad with miracles upon miracle, miracle alert, miracle job, miracle phone, miracle car, miracle house. I don't know if I should or not tell her that it actually reads Milk-racle a combination of milking and oracle. Like milking the oracle. The countless phone calls Ijeoma picks like she works in customer care ending with I love you baby like she's talking to a two year old, her smiles when those SMS comes into her phone before rushing to share her testimony with mama of how God sent money to her from an unknown source causing mama to lift her hands in adoration, if you ask me, I will say not really to her Chi, but the god,the big god of Ijeoma the one that sends "last night was sweet, how about another time for a little up the game tip?"
Is the sweet the one she gives me each time she returns from her miraculous journey that she gives the god of her life? Those men that looks grandpa age, whose sense of elderhood had aged alongside them, as Ijeoma keeps calling them baby like she gave birth to them.
I want to also get miracle cars, miracle house in banana island, she tells mama it's God that blesses her, I heard her laughing over the phone with Kehinde saying she has a very big god who is always by her side. That's her favorite song during morning devotion, I also want to have big god, always by my side.
I want the god I will cry to like ijeoma does without a single tear in her eyes, the god that gives her two hundred thousand to subscribe her phone, and fall upon each other to give her two hundred and fifty to buy food from the local restaurant when she said she doesn't feel like eating the food mama cooked.
Mama will always force me to church, to tie my hair and not wear earrings, but will rain blessing on Ije for buying her hollandis and foreign hat even though she gives excuses for not following her to church and on the day she does, she will hook up to another on her mobile phone and hell helps the usher that talks to her.
Mama wants me to be a doctor, to wear lab coat and carry that thing that looks like letter y up and down, to burn my own midnight candle and study hard so that I will be reputable in the society, like Ben Carson; but I always fight the urge to ask her which medicine, midnight oil and Carson Ijeoma is studying and burning that's making her account grow like bitcoin, I doubt if forex traders receives profits as fast as she does.
Mama can go on in her lecture of me being her doctor baby girl, as for me, I will like Ijeoma say 'use what I have to get what I want' when the supply is low and the demand high, only the inexperienced chose a commodity with lower pay, who wants to invest in Central Bank when bitcoin value increases per second?
I'm only waiting for this straight thing of mine to get inflated and this dot grow big, I will be also the one who text, chat, call and sob and my god will just be supplying my needs.
Thankiu
*Throws Mic*
DIARY OF A SEVEN YEAR OLD!
©
Chines Zoe
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