Dear Woman,
You ARE NOT the (sole) Compromising party in the relationship by definition. You are an individual. You are human. You are an equal partner. It is okay to have standards too. It is okay to have what you want and what you don't want. You don't have to be the one bending everytime especially when you know it's not what you want.
Don't concede if you have reservations about a suggestion or instruction because if you do, it will hurt you later (very much). And any small problem between you two or if he does something you don't like, you'll start chanting and murmuring:
- After changing my dressing for him...
- After quitting my job for him...
- After changing my walking step for him...
- After submitting my salary to him...
- After changing my church for him...
- After deleting my social media accounts for him...
- After changing my cooking method for him...
- After formatting my brain for him...
Talk!
God did not give you mouth to always be saying, "Yes Sir" or "Yes my Lord" to whoever you're with - boo, fiancé or husband! You're not a lawyer addressing the Chief judge. Even lawyers sometimes say, "Objection my Lord!" when they don't agree to something in the proceedings, how much more you (an equal partner) in a relationship?
You are not a robot or a dog that just does as the lord commands. Share your views. Share your opinions. Say when you don't agree and say when you do.
Have standards! Have Convictions! Have preferences because it's normal for humans. Everything cannot be okay with you. Anything should not just go for you. Everyone cannot be your type.
If you notice that the person you're with doesn't like or agree with your convictions, let them go. If the person you're with thinks you're too rigid or too smart that they can't cope, let them go. Let them go to someone else who is exactly how they want. Don't agree to be panel beaten into a shape you won't recognize. Another person will come. Someone who will understand you.
They say if you have standards, you won't marry. They lied. Look around you. Not everyone who is always compromising is married. And even if they ALL are, trust me, you don't want to be their kind of married. Likewise, not everyone who has standards is unmarried or sad they're single.
Always remember this:
It's better to be single than to be in a relationship you'd always regret
It's better to be single than to marry someone you can never be free around
It's better to be single than to be with someone who doesn't care about your thoughts, opinions and beliefs
Therefore, stick to your convictions. Don't change them for anyone. Only change them when you have a concrete evidence or good reason why your previous ones are not good mindsets. You will meet someone who will see things from your perspective and you two will align. When you do, it will be the best feeling in the world and you would be glad you waited. Even if you don't, you're still better off as YOU than as a shadow of someone else.
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