"Tell Chizalum that there's no connection with dressing and morality" (An excerpt from Dear Ijeawale by Adichie)
Fact I have grown to discover. I still do believe that decency is reparable, considering the kind of background you are raised or chose to adopt. My idea of decency is covering all that is supposed to be private. The African igbo culture has an amazing pass mark there, the ancient igbo maiden outfit, where the mammalian gland is covered and then the waist is covered, they originally have the idea of 'open shoulder' dress. (Others may do too, but I am igbo). Over the years the concept of decency has revolved from this cover the private to be in a sack. And dress shaming had been subtly introduced as the police to checkmate this. The advent of religion didn't help matters at all, as people wield power vested on them by diverse religious position to institute their idea of decency and make those that does not conform looked like sinners! Well religion and cultural jargon will thrive in the circle of illiterates, and by this includes those who knows and chose to act like they don't.
Growing up, I have also been stereotyped into believing the dress sense of these figures as the approved dress style that should be, well until I began to look back at how it used to be, what British brought, people's diversity and the 'entitlement' to opinion, it was hard I must say to fully adapt to people's choice of wears, and stop dress shaming. I have fully now. Special dresses are designed for special places, and this is determined by several factor of which the individual choice is paramount.
In dressing, I've adapted the original igbo attire as judging parameters to what my idea of decency in dressing is. As long as I don't get to see your private, rock the dress. In interacting with people I discovered that my choice is not theirs and some love the idea of going half unclad, which I have no problem with, because they ain't me. For these people, if they are somewhat related to me, I don't do dress shaming, I simply say, I think it's too short, or try this other one, I think it will look good on you.
The idea of dress shaming moves from shaming people because of the exposure of body parts you feel should be private. To shaming people for not wearing the clothes you feel they should!
I pay attention to clothes, but I don't forget I am the one with the value, and I give that value to what I wear. Not the other way round. It's the reason why I don't dress to please, I wear what I like, my dressing has nothing to do with my financial status, it's just that which I want to wear. This however brings conflict at times with organization I had been with. Complete English is not my thing, the idea of suits freak me, and sometimes I feel for my dear shoe that lays almost useless whilst the open pans and sandals take the lead. In those days suits were the deal, I had them, I discard them. I prefer sweaters to it. And maybe because I wore shoes most of my life, my feet feels like a prisoner once they slide into them, and they wriggle to be free. It doesn't matter how loose they are, my feet must sustain injury. Pam slippers, are what you mostly will find me in, and a particular church organization told me it is not accepted, and mind my lane, until one day they asked a corporately dressed guy to take opening prayer and he asked the new creation believing congregation to ask the Lord for mercy for the sins they've committed. 😂 😂. He's a first timer, his shoe made him officiate even though a first timer. I went outside and have a good laugh before returning to continue with the service.
They tried to make me wear shoe, but hey it cannot work! All the side talks with regards my dressing falls on deaf ears, if I don't like it, I won't wear it. Simple outfit. Polo on Jean, T-shirt and plain trouser, and the pam on my feet and I can fly to Europe! I'm not trying to suit in, I'm okay like that. And finally finally I'm beginning to think I like short, even though it's just a thought now, I really do not buy the idea of exposing my hairy legs, like I will never take a photo with singlet, how much more shirtless. They are all different choices by different people. I've seen neatly dressed thugs, and 'loosely' dressed honest people. And whilst I will tell you what and what my choices of dressing is, I don't do dress shaming and you should learn not to too.
Chines Zoe
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